image credit | auburn soul | my benny fall of 2009
When my oldest was just 10 months old I found out I was pregnant with baby Elmer #2. I was naive and extremely excited to have two boys, close in age. I visualized them being the best of friends. I not once worried about the change in dynamics it would cause or the way a new babe can totally rock your world. So far I had the fortune of having blissfully easy pregnancies. I was beyond exhausted as my body grew this miraculous human being, but I wasn't nervous.
Perhaps it was because I was still in the physically hard stage with Tyler. He was still a babe. Still required all of me, from sun up until sun down. He was just 19 months old when Benjamin joined us.
When I became pregnant with Nicholas, my boys were older. Tyler was four and a half and Benjamin was three. Both were potty trained. Going out for errands was becoming easier, almost enjoyable at times. We could carry on mini conversations. My boys were little humans and I was loving the stage they were at. My pregnancy this time was hard. It stretched me both physically and mentally. Tyler would start preschool that fall (2010), a few months before Nicholas' birth. I had a short window of time to create special moments with just Benjamin, hopefully to help ease the transition to no longer being the baby.
The months kept ticking by, quickly I might add and I was feeling a bit nervous for the transition to three. I was never concerned that I would not have enough love. I've learned that my heart expands, grows, transforms, with each new child. But this time around, my boys were somewhat independent. I had entered a new stage of freedom and I was a little anxious to return to the land of baby. I was unsure how my older boys would fully grasp the change that was about to take place, the way a new baby would use up so much of mom's time and energy. I was nervous to start all over.
Some of my concerns unfolded and took shape but what I didn't expect was how perfectly Nicholas fit into our family. It was as though he was the last missing puzzle piece. That's not to say it did not take my older boys time to adjust, to discover their new place in our little family of five. Three is tiring. Three is loud. At the end of the day, I gaze around and feel as though there was not one thing I accomplished, besides the necessities. But I love my boys something fierce.
Did you have concerns with each new baby you brought home?
Do you have children yet or currently pregnant with #1?
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